


God Smitten

by MariekoWest



Series: DragonBall(☆)Retro [6]
Category: Dragon Ball Z, GohanxPiccolo
Genre: Canon Overhaul, Expletives, Graphic Sex, Heartbreak/Unrequited Love, Hermaphroditic & Alien Biology, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Lemon, M/M, NSFW, Namekian Social Culture & Behaviour Dissected, Other, Shounen-ai, Smut, Uke Piccolo, Voyeurism, Yaoi, デンP, 腐向け, 飯Ｐ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 17:56:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8067133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariekoWest/pseuds/MariekoWest
Summary: Dende’s first challenge as Kamisama-in-training is getting over his first crush, and subsequently, his first real heartbreak; which will eventually lead to a happy ending, right? [2nd Revision 2018/03/16]





	1. First Half

**Author's Note:**

> A little important backgrounder for this episode to have the right effect: Dende was a child in the Freeza Saga, who looked smaller than Gohan. When they asked him to take Kami's place 3 years after, the canon series shows that his size hardly changed at all. Then in Majin Boo Saga, he has one of those notorious Dragon Ball Z universe growth spurts. My muse hates those growth spurts and wishes to smoothen it out. My headcanon puts him at around 2-3 years younger than Gohan at the time of their first meeting, which would make him around 10 or 11-ish here (which can be old for a Namekian). So I pegged him to about as big as Gohan was in Cell Saga, only more baby fat and no muscle, and a few inches shorter.
> 
> * * *
> 
> For those not familiar with how I write DBZ, I keep the Japanese honorifics (and some untranslatable terms) because I like the original Japanese version and want my stories in that mood with all the beautiful cultural nuances intact (as opposed to the American-dubbed DBZ). If you don't like stories portrayed in the original essence of DBZ, then good news! You don't need to read this one because there are thousands of other stories out there catering to you. To the lovelies who enjoy the same flavour of DBZ as I do, huzzah! Onwards to Dende’s bittersweet pubescent woes! And I really hope you enjoy. ❤ Cheers!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Map of   
>  ** DRAGONBALL(☆)RETRO **
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Legend:**  
> 
> 
> **[ !! ]** Has *very* important related events to current story  
>  **[ - ]** Has events related to current story  
>  **[ x ]** Not yet published  
>  **[ .. ]**  In progress  
>  **[ o ]** Complete
> 
> * * *
> 
> **CHRONOLOGY:**
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Don't Smell The Rozealeas" [ o ]  
>  "Look At the Dark (Mirare Obscura)" [ x ]  
>  "Eyes Only For You" [ o ] **[ !! ]**  
>  "What Didn't Really Happen" [ .. ]  
>  "Truer Than Love" [ o ] **[ !! ]**  
>  **"God Smitten"**  {YOU ARE HERE}  
>  "Valentine Scramble" [ .. ]  
>  "Foreshock" [ x ]  
>  "Upside-Down Inside-Out" [ x ]  
> 
> 
> ### ...

_Can god fall in love?_

 

**-x-**

 

His eyes are red-violet.

 _His_  was deep brown.

Not deep brown like rich fertile mud… But deep brown like a mysterious hidden forest.

He was  _not_ in love. He was  _devoted_.

There was a difference after all. A  _big_  difference.

 

**-x-**

 

Dende's small hand tightened around his predecessor's staff, even if his fingers barely closed around it. The moss green of his knuckles were becoming pallid from the pressure, but he only tightened his grip more until pain shot up his arm…

_Pain._

He needed that. It was one of the things that reminded him of what he needed to be reminded of:  _Nameks didn't fall in love._  

Nameks didn't need such things!

The young Namek sighed ruefully.

_But with each not-so-gentle press of sweet red lips against soft and supple green ones, his resolve melted away a little more…_

He bit his lip hard. Hard enough to break skin. But his fangs were barely developed and somewhat dull.

In the last millennia, the new race of halcyon Nameks no longer grew formidable fangs like the great early warriors of their kind. He was told their originally massive, sharp canines were useful as weapons in battle and very effective in striking fear in their enemies. But the * _Rogalian Cataclysm_  changed the face of Namek forever. When the great wars and fighting receded—along with the reshaping of their history—they began evolving out of their battle-defensive physical attributes. Their formidable height, talons, and *rapid regeneration were among the first to go. And along with it,  _their piercing fangs_. This frustrated him to no end because a part of him always wanted to be a great warrior. And yet… He couldn't help growing up with more attributes and talents as a mage.

As there were no more warrior class Nameks left in the galaxy save for the Earth-born Namek Piccolo- seeing those practically extinct warrior fangs on him only wrung his heart even more with clashing awe and envy. And every single time those  _perfectly sharp stalactite fangs descended upon and unintentionally drew blood from persistent red lips_ , the harder he bit down on his own lips, wishing his fangs would cut just as efficiently… But he only ever succeeded in bruising his flesh without breaking it.  _Oh, how he wished his lips would bleed already too, and fill him with a blinding pain that would make him un-see it all!_

_Unsee eyes that burned a crimson-stained violet fog like blazing passion… It was impossible not to get lost in them…_

_His_ was deep brown.

_They aren't the same!_

This mantra went on endlessly on days exceptionally longer than others. Those days were all he seemed to know now.

It bothered him.

How a Namek could be so…  _indulgent_.

But he also had to remind himself that Piccolo was  _not_  a Namek of native origin, but a _Namek of Earth_. In that sense, he may not even be a Namek at all beyond his general physiology. Piccolo knew nothing of what true Nameks were like, much more so their native rituals and practices, nor what was acceptable or considered taboo.

 _But he had Kami-sama's and Nail-san's knowledge_   _at his disposal now, Dende would reason._ However, being Piccolo, son of the once most notoriously evil Namek of all time, he probably simply chose not to conform to those precepts or ignore it altogether. He always had his way if he really wanted it. Piccolo was  _nothing_  like their kind at all.

Dende fidgeted in his post, striving to turn his awareness elsewhere.

He was still having trouble admitting to himself that it wasn't Piccolo's indulgence in  _un-Namek-like_ things like the act of “kissing" (something Nameks didn't do) or the more intimate act of " _romantic_ copulation” (which humans loosely referred to as "love-making") that riled him, _b _ut Piccolo's uncharacteristically pleasure-soaked voice__ , as it floated to his young but sensitive ears from somewhere in _Kami no Shinden _.__

Mage class Nameks didn't have hearing as acute as warrior class Nameks, but at that moment, he felt like his ears couldn't be deaf enough to  _unhear_  it all.

 _So they weren't in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber today,_  he thought irritably. Or perhaps they were, but forgot to seal the door shut properly again.

He was standing at the very rim of the floating temple. The chamber in question was several floors down. He was doing his best to fulfil his duties of guarding Earth from his post as the slated _Kamisama_ ; but his mind was nowhere on Earth – literally and figuratively. He couldn't help but keen his senses to the young couple very much in love, who were doing things that normally very much in love couples did (that Nameks didn't do), and that which he knew he shouldn't be concerning himself with.

_Gohan and Piccolo._

The bane of his upcoming job as _Kamisama_ , and possibly of the Earth as well, should a threat suddenly appear and his attention was trapped somewhere else it shouldn't be.

After being offered the post and accepting, he was now in line to become the next guardian of Earth. That is, if he survived his apprenticeship, which he was miserably failing at—yet again.

Unable to fully grasp  _what_  it was that he was feeling yet, and  _why–_ made him antsy. Of late, he didn't know why he was growing increasingly more annoyed with the Earthlings and their silly little antics. He didn't shun humans in general (he even rather liked them), but he had always considered the lot of them primitive and petty; like new-born infants who constantly needed guardians to assist them and come to their rescue.

 _He needed to focus!_  And he just couldn't do it under the presently extremely challenging circumstances. Before he could come to the decision consciously, his feet were already taking him downstairs with a mission to secure the door of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber shut to prevent any unwanted noise made by its two current occupants from  escaping. But a part of him he refused to acknowledge actually wanted— _not only to hear,_ _but to see._

 _No. This was wrong!_   _He needed to pull himself together!_

Along with the responsibility of becoming Earth's _Kamisama_ , the powers of omniscience were incrementally being granted him. And although he knew it wasn't going to be easy, he was, at the moment, infinitely grateful that the stage of development of his said power, at present, was still in its infancy, only very gradually increasing in scope and radiation… Because it would appear that along with this awakening and expansion of his consciousness came heightening of the senses and expedited maturity; and as it was, he was already struggling under the weight of his very first trial as apprentice god.

 _It wasn't really Gohan and Piccolo, per se,_ but the resurgence of feelings that they were causing—feelings he had worked so hard to extinguish. Feelings for someone dear that he thought he had already lost.

_Nail-san._

The space in the small Namek's chest continued to shrink at the thought and  _feel_ of his former companion. He had always liked Nail. The strong Namek was not only their planet's strongest warrior and his role model but also his closest friend. If he had been born a warrior instead of a mage, he knew he would have wanted to be just like his elder brother. But unfortunately, Nail died at the hands of the tyrannical space pirate Freeza. Or that was what he thought. Because when Nail flew off that day to fight the monster, he never came back. Dende suffered in silence as his Ki very slowly and painfully declined until it disappeared from the world for good.

With everything that had happened, Dende did not even have the luxury to grieve. He himself had died for a short while. But he actually felt happy about it, thinking he would get to see his most revered fellow Namek and friend in the afterlife. Only,  _Nail wasn't there._ Nail couldn't possibly have been sent to hell, he was a hero! But Dende never met him during his brief stay in paradise—it turned out that his friend’s soul was never even logged as one of the dead. And so, he returned to the land of the living, utterly confused and short of grieving, not knowing what to think.

Until he saw the Earth-born Namek named Piccolo Daimaoh Jr., and he finally understood what had happened…

Fusion was forbidden, it stripped a soul of its identity and robbed it of deliverance by the afterlife. It could never be undone; not even by the power of Porunga. And, as far as he was told, not even by any known power in existence.

So he forced himself to forget Nail for good. But a bitterness began to fester in him, one that even he wasn’t aware of, at first. For all his powers as a mage, he hated how it didn't seem to count for anything because no matter how powerful he got, things stayed the same. He couldn’t change the fact that he was never going to see his best friend again–  _on Earth, on New Namek, or anywhere._   _Ever_ ,  _again._ Nail was dead in ways that could never be rectified. And he just had to live with that burden in his heart _forever._

Understandably, he initially resented Piccolo for it. But then, he knew that Nail would not have allowed such a thing to happen unless it was his own will. He would have rather killed himself than be coerced into anything. The warrior Namek was far more stubborn than anyone he has ever known.

During their sojourn on Earth, Piccolo was hardly ever seen, and for that, he was extremely grateful. When they left for their new home in New Namek, the young Namekian mage knew that he would have no trouble forgetting the way his heart would pump and plummet madly at the sight of Piccolo – a reaction that formerly only Nail could incite. He wasn't happy about the shift, of course. He had convinced himself that it was a completely different thing. What he felt for Piccolo was the opposite of what he felt for Nail; that he was only instinctively reacting that way because he still sensed Nail inside Piccolo somehow.

Nameks were never advocates of personal interest or self-centred gain. They were always about giving and doing what was most beneficial for the entire race as a whole. Which is why, as the years went by, he was proud of himself for having successfully moved on from his loss and focusing solely on bettering his powers for the common good.

Then, one day, three years ago, five years after that terrifying encounter with Freeza and subsequently, his memorable first time bonding with the Earthlings who saved the last of them– the being he least wanted to ever see again, appeared on New Namek. They were told of how the androids and Cell arrived and wrought havoc on Earth, and how they once again needed Porunga's help to repair what they could of the damage. But that wasn't all they wanted…

He learned that Piccolo had fused with another Namek who happened to be Kami-sama, the former guardian deity of Earth, and because of that, their dragon Shenron was currently indisposed—suspended in a state of frozen animation—and no one could be able to tell for certain if they would ever be able to revive the dragon again. Owing to this, as a contingency measure, they needed a new guardian who could either revive Shenron or forge a new set of Dragon Balls for the Planet Earth. Piccolo was forced to become interim god of Earth before Kami agreed to fuse back with him, but he was determined to pass on this responsibility to another whom he felt the job would be more suited to.

The Earth-born Namek addressed Dende himself with the pronouncement that he wanted the young Namek to take over as the Earth's new _Kamisama_ (all this, with Kami's approval). Dende was, after all, already on the road to becoming one of New Namek's most powerful mages. And if he were to accept, Piccolo would be passing to him Kami's knowledge and even some of his own powers for him to be able to carry out his task as the official new guardian of Earth.

Dende felt a newfound resentment boiling in him. He stared up wordlessly at the Earth-born Namek's stately form; his overbearing cape majestically riding the wind behind him, making him look even more unnerving somehow. Although he reminded himself that he was only feeling that way because this Namek took away Nail, but his second fusion with Kami was only a re-joining since he was originally a part of Kami after all- he still couldn't help the old feelings of bitterness resurfacing with a vengeance in his chest.

 _He thought Piccolo a greedy and conniving Namek like the evil Piccolo before him_ ;  _nothing at all like the selfless and humble ideals that embodied the new breed of Namekians._

"I gladly accept."

The words rolled off his tongue before he could understand why it did, when he had fully intended to declare quite the opposite.

The next day, however, in Earth's _Kami no Shinden,_ when Piccolo placed his palm on Dende's head to begin transferring a small amount of knowledge and power from the former _Kamisama_ , he became greatly enlightened. Quite literally so. It was as though a hidden switch in his brain had been flipped open and a bigger portion of his mind was instantly illuminated and fully operational. The infinitesimal increase in wisdom and maturity was so profound, that he had immediately gained a deeper insight into the motivation behind his action.

_Piccolo fascinated him._

Perhaps even more than Nail ever did. But then again, it was very hard not to be. Piccolo was a rare hybrid, immensely strong, not only as a warrior but evenly as a mage. His aura exuded of _danger_. He had never met any other Namek who felt like that. The feelings of aliveness and veneration that the Earth-born Namek extorted in him overruled much of the festering umbrage. The prospect of staying in the temple with such a creature and being under his tutelage as he trained to become the new _Kamisama_ of Earth filled him with anticipation and excitement that he didn't even know was possible for a Namek to feel.

And so, even if he was telling himself that he was doing something selfless; giving up everything he's ever known—his family, his friends, and his home, even his own identity—to serve this new purpose of safeguarding the Planet Earth… He knew that deep inside, he had already broken his resolve to never exhume his feelings for Nail. Feelings which have now—by some sick joke of fate—been revivified by this enigma of a Namek, Piccolo Daimaoh Jr.

The first year proved to be a real struggle. Try as he may, Dende couldn't smite the giddy flurry in his stomach every time he came into contact with Piccolo. And that happened at least once every day—at the crack of dawn after his morning reflection when the Earth-born Namek would impart another batch of the former _Kamisama_ 's knowledge to him.

The process was a delicate one and had to be done very slowly and gradually. The sheer vastness and weight of Kami's immeasurable knowledge and experience could crush any normal person's psyche. And yet, too many times Dende was very tempted to ask how Piccolo managed it. He already had Nail, apart from what remained of Daimaoh (which was still buried in him somehow, though he hid it well. Dende was only sure of this because he glimpsed a particle of it during one of their mind link-up sessions wherein the older Namek was always rendered relatively vulnerable). Piccolo had not only managed to evolve into a completely separate entity from Daimaoh and Kami, but also dominated both – plus Nail, without losing a speck of his own identity. Receiving Kami's many millennia worth of knowledge in a heartbeat didn't even seem to faze him. Dende honestly couldn't fathom how strong Piccolo's mind must be to be able to do all that.

Dende never got around to asking him, though. He just assumed that he did it with the help of some powerful mind-strengthening technique. He rarely spoke to Piccolo because he had vowed he wouldn't, unless absolutely necessary. And the Earth-born Namek wasn't one for idle talk anyway, so that made his vow easier to keep. He knew that one day he would have to ask, all the same, because he wasn't confident that he could handle a greater portion of Kami's wisdom, without some kind of failsafe technique. As it was, he was already fumbling.

By the third year, Dende had a fairly good grasp on twenty percent of Kami's latent omniscient powers. He could feel what was happening in one place if he focused all of his mind into it. And it became normal to just know what was happening in his immediate vicinity when he didn't need to focus on any other area. As of the present, the scope of his budding powers nicely covered the entire breadth and depth of _Kami no Shinden_.

Naturally, it was Piccolo's powerful albeit masterfully tempered Ki that he felt. It was so calming and soothing, that he often lost himself and weltered in it unknowingly. He would often be jerked back to his senses when Piccolo found his presence too interloping and gave him an emphatic mental nudge to bring it to his attention. Needless to say, the young Namek practically disintegrated with embarrassment each time.

Though it had little to do with Ki, because Ki was life energy, whilst omniscience was expanding one's consciousness beyond oneself and things readily perceived by the principal senses, Piccolo sensed his astral consciousness all the same. Of course, Piccolo's omniscience was far more advanced than his at this point. Dende wasn’t even confident if he could ever surpass that. Piccolo was  _still_  the interim Kamisama of Earth after all—and in a way, would forever be, since he was now one in mind, body, and soul with the former _Kamisama_ , Kami. And Dende did his best not to forget that little-established fact when his astral mind went  _a-wandering_.

As time and training helped him mature, he became convinced that what he felt for Nail was indeed very much distinct from what he was feeling for Piccolo even if his attitude towards the latter had evolved greatly. He was certain that with Nail it was hugely admiration and even love, or what Nameks relate to as  _devotion_ … The desire to be with another and serve them until death. That is, as far as Nameks' translation of love, bonding, and desire went. Whereas with Piccolo, it was closer to that which Earthlings referred to as a "crush". This, he was able to distinguish because his feelings for Piccolo came with so many silly and insignificant desires that Nameks usually did not experience. For one…

_Wanting physical gratification._

Dende was first made aware of the different levels of affection humans felt, when he played with Gohan on Earth during the peaceful days following Freeza's defeat…

 

**-x-**

 

_Dende-san, do Nameks fall in love too?_

 

The query left a big bold question mark on top of Dende's head and his look of outright confusion was perceptively remedied soon enough with an explanation on the feeling called "love" and its many variations. Based on this, he concluded that what humans called "puppy love" or "crush" is, more often than not, a _fleeting_   _fancy_  for someone which entailed many foolish selfish desires. Although, it wasn't impossible for it to burgeon into something deeper.

Although Dende could have answered 'no' right off the bat based purely on observation and word of mouth, he wasn't one to make unfounded assumptions. At that time, he felt that he wasn't old enough to have a definitive amount knowledge and experience to affirm whether Nameks  _did_  feel such things  _or not_. He wasn’t audacious enough either, to speak for all of the Namekian race.

He did, however, feel confident enough to share that Nameks were very ' _devoted_ ', and it didn't always have to be mutual or beneficial to both parties. If they admired someone to an exclusive degree, they could choose to devote their entire life to that someone, regardless of whether they got devotion in return for it or not.

"It sounds like a wonderful kind of love!" Gohan remarked in awe. Then his sights averted from him and landed on…  _Piccolo?_  A look of longing and something else Dende couldn't describe washed over the young half-Saiyajin's face as he gazed at the Earth-born Namek. And then, it just clicked…

"Gohan-san…! You don't mean…"

The boy was startled out of his reverie. He raised his brows at Dende quizzically. "Eh?"

"Piccolo-san…" Dende began, but second thoughts of jumping to conclusions too soon made him amend his proclamation. "Err… you…  _like_  him…"

"I'm sure I love him," Gohan declared readily; unfaltering and serious, despite the alarming scarlet dusting his cheeks. "I am just not sure… what kind of love it is just yet."

Dende was inundated. And, much to his disquiet, he continued to be so, for many more days that followed. (Or more accurately–  _many more years_.)

_Love?_

Gohan didn't seem the least bit irresolute about what he had just confessed. He never expected a human to find Nameks like them attractive. He has never been overly confident about his looks, but their kind hardly gave vanity any emphasis. If they looked proper and respectable, it was enough.

Alternatively, he secretly liked how some humans looked – Gohan, especially. He loved their many different colours and constantly changing features. Nameks physically aged very fast or very slow, depending on environment and circumstance but no matter what stage of their growth, they basically were just different intensities of green, pink and red. Their pink patches gradually lose its vivid shade and fade to yellow as they lose their youth and get past the hundred-year-old mark. But that's pretty much it.

Dende shyly admitted this to Gohan, adding that even if he thought their race was not as interesting as humans, he did like Nail a lot. And because Nail and Piccolo resembled each other so closely, he could somehow relate to how Gohan felt about Piccolo. When Dende felt the heat on his cheeks finally fizzle out, he looked up at Gohan and was startled to receive a look of outright bewilderment.

"I admit I was surprised to see Nail-san, at first, because he had such a different aura from all the other Nameks. But I don't think they look alike at all."

Because of what Gohan had said, Dende started to doubt the veracity of his own judgement. If he were to be honest, only Nail and Piccolo's auras and attitudes set them apart from each other in his eyes. Though even there, there were similarities…

And yet, Gohan was so resolute in expressing the contrary that he felt a twinge of embarrassment.

_Was it his desperation to see Nail again that caused him to be blind to their physical differences?_

 

**-x-**

 

While Gohan's feelings for Piccolo persisted—even blossomed into full blown love (as he would later admit), Dende endeavoured to treat his own undisclosed feelings for the Namek as simply a "crush" and nothing more. He knew by now that he could not rid himself of it, and somehow just giving it limits was the best he could do at the moment to at least keep it under control.

Then one day, some weeks ago, a new challenge to his new vocation dropped in and smacked him in the face…

Gohan and Piccolo arrived in the temple with their hands connected and their sprightly auras resonating as one.

With eyes twinkling and barely contained happiness, Gohan stepped forward and took Dende's hands in his own, before ecstatically announcing that he and Piccolo were in love—and that they had both chosen to be "devoted" to each other from then on…

_Gohan-san and Piccolo-san were bondmates now…?_

Dende's first reaction was to look to Piccolo for confirmation, half expecting him to deny it. The towering Namek merely met his stare without flinching, not affirming but not negating either. Nevertheless, Dende couldn't help noticing a significant change in him—a hushed emotion effervescing within his eyes, making his normally guarded orbs shimmer beautifully like ruby speckled amethysts. He didn't say a word, but Dende felt it without any room for doubt:  _Piccolo was very happy._ Happier than he has ever been in all his life. So…

_Piccolo was in love with Gohan too all this time?_

All of a sudden, Dende felt like he had been dunked into the frozen waters of the northern Ice Lands and was sinking deeper and deeper with no will to reemerge. He clumsily congratulated Gohan, hearing his own voice from a distance like he was suddenly outside of his body when he said it. Ironically, the more warmth that radiated from their melding Ki signatures, the more he felt those freezing waters necrotising his heart. This was momentarily broken by a chaste kiss upon his cheek and a soft plea from Gohan to keep their brand new relationship under wraps for the meantime, followed by a sheepish admittance that he was forced to tell Dende because he was on the road to becoming the new _Kamisama_ , and there was nothing he wouldn't know eventually.

So one could just imagine what overwhelming mortification Dende, the future _Kamisama_ , had felt, upon the horrible sinking realization that he was  _very_  jealous. _And that he was more in love with Piccolo than he had allowed himself to believe._ As much was confirmed by the dull, persistent ache in his gut as he watched Gohan pull Piccolo by the hand and lead him to the other side of the temple hidden from view, but unfortunately, not from his powers.

That ache expanded to bursting as he sensed Gohan's lips crash upon Piccolo's and _Piccolo_ __actually kissing back.__

 

**-x-**

 

"How does it feel?"

It was a sunny Sunday morning; exactly two months since Gohan and Piccolo became a secret couple. Everything would have looked normal to anyone else without godlike awareness but to Dende… nothing was ever the same again.

Presently, the fifteen-year-old half-Saiyajin was waiting for Piccolo to return from his morning meditation by the waterfall. He was seated on the ledge of the floating temple, legs draped over the side and swinging to and fro in a lively manner like an excited toddler’s would.

Gohan was only allowed to see Piccolo on weekends, and Gohan always made the most of it. If they didn't meet at the temple, they would be by the waterfall, or in some meadow too far for Dende's prematurely developed and still incomplete omniscience to reach. He would still always try anyway—he knew he shouldn't—but all the same, he couldn't help it.  _Gohan and Piccolo were made for each other, and he was truly happy for them._ That much he was sure of. Unfortunately, that didn't dampen his feelings one bit for the Earth-born Namek either. In fact, seeing Piccolo smitten only made the longing in his heart worse.

_Much, much worse._

"Huh?" Gohan looked puzzled. "Did you say something, Dende-sama?"

Dende hadn't realized he had thought aloud. He hadn't meant for that to be heard. The young guardian forced a smile, hoping he could make Gohan forget the slip-up.

"Just 'Dende' is fine, Gohan-san. I am not _Kamisama_ yet."

"Oh, but you will soon be, right?" Gohan quipped with a big smile; he had stopped oscillating his feet and instead stared at his rubber shoes which he had brought up with his legs in a straight line. *"Piccolo-sama tells me you're doing pretty well."

The Namek blushed shyly. "Not as well as I'm supposed to be yet, I'm afraid. I'm still having trouble focusing Kami-sama's powers… I wish I could handle them as well as Piccolo-sama does…"

"Piccolo-sama was already born with advanced skill and wisdom, so he was more than prepared when he received Kami-sama's powers." Gohan pointed out (although his coloured cheeks vulgarly betrayed how he only half believed what he said and was proud of his lover beyond decency).

"Still. I've already had three years worth of unbroken practice with sparse amounts of it, and I still feel clumsy when I use it. But Piccolo-sama mastered it instantly in one go."

Gohan turned to him, still all smiles. "But you're the one he chose to take his place! That means he believes in you. So you'll just have to do you best, and show him you can do it, Dende-sama! I believe in you too!"

The young guardian could only manage a flustered, feeble bow.

At that moment, Gohan checked his watch and gave a little squeak. He was on his feet in an instant, hurriedly bowing to Dende in farewell. But he suddenly stopped in his stride and turned back.

"You were asking me something…"

"It's not important." Dende waved his hands furiously in front of him, embarrassment obvious on his face. "I can ask you again some other time."

"Well, if you're sure… Okay, later then, Dende!"

He didn't need to ask Gohan where he was going because already knew. Piccolo was late in returning. And they both knew that this sometimes happened when Piccolo decided to take a leisurely bath in the lake after his meditation.

Dende knew he wasn't supposed to, but his full astral powers revved to life and locked onto Piccolo as closely as possible without being detected. Instantly, heat flooded his cheeks as he received a very intimate astral feed of Piccolo's body as the waterfall's torrents pummelled it; the many crystalline rivulets tracing and emphasizing every well-toned contour.

Nameks as powerful as Piccolo really didn't need to bathe. His magic was so advanced that he could clean himself if he simply willed it. But even if water was generally the fuel for a Namek's life force, Dende knew that Piccolo bathed like a human because it was therapeutic for him. He liked feeling the water on his body – it soothed and revitalized him. This was one of those habits that made Piccolo so un-Namek-like, how he sometimes indulged in these seemingly unnecessary physical pleasures. And yet, it was part of what Dende found so compellingly fascinating about him.

He knew that Gohan wouldn't take long (he sensed that the boy was flying at breakneck speed), but he still jumped a little in surprise when Gohan arrived even sooner than his projection, considering the fantastic distance. The boy didn't even bother to take off his clothes as he wrapped his arms around Piccolo from behind, letting his hands roam his lover's naked wet body.

Piccolo growled in protest at first, trying to wriggle out of the demi-Saiyajin's grip, saying that he wasn't finished yet. But the boy insisted on helping him "finish" and he groaned when his ear received hearty licks while his antennae was tugged on and stroked with impatient fervour. Soon, Gohan was kissing his neck and shoulders nonstop; both of them becoming lost in frenzied arousal.

The hybrid kissed, touched, and fondled until Piccolo was out of breath. Hands which had been caressing the Namek's firm abdomen finally moved lower to his core, where fingers expertly peeled open his hidden folds and dipped in-between; making his hostage buck and gasp, and tremble like a leaf. He was held in place and made to face the waterfall's spray as those fingers stimulated him persistently. Piccolo grit his teeth as the pressure steadily built into an intense crescendo until it finally exploded in a powerful wave that took his body over the edge for several long minutes. Gohan's muscles strained to keep his lover's huge frame from slipping into the river as spasm after another gripped it mercilessly.

 

Dende finally disengaged from the astral experience and collapsed to the floor, willing his mind to shut out the world. The guilt and regret  _always_ came after. And with it, _self-loathing_.

He didn't want to spy on them.  _But he really did_. He knew it was wrong and he tried his best to avoid it. _But morbid curiosity always won in the end._ He wished he didn't know any better, but the thing is–  _he did_.

He knew that what he was doing was only making things worse. His enlightened subconscious knew he was only making excuses. Using Kami's powers to share other people’s experiences beyond their knowledge, and for something so petty as this, was not only taboo but dishonourable and selfish.

But he did it because watching Gohan and Piccolo do what lovers did, enabled him to vicariously experience things he knew he never could and should not even desire. He couldn't fight it, and this –this  _depraved_ little pastime of his, helped quell the heat that raged within him which he understood so little of. He somehow felt a twinge of envy that Kami most likely hadn't experienced such a weakness—going by what small percentage of knowledge of the former god he currently possessed.

That same source of knowledge, however,  _did_  tell him when he probed for a solution- that the human feeling of being "in love" or hopelessly taken with another was almost completely impossible to extinguish. Waiting it out and resisting it was usually what most humans did, if they did not wish to give in to it. Though the process of ignoring it was usually just as excruciating and frustrating as dealing with it head-on. But even so, nothing apparently compared to the intense suffering they incurred in the event of rejection. It was quite a messy and convoluted affair. Unfortunately, one that was also virtually unavoidable (that is, while remaining a fully functioning human).

Dende figured that since he wasn't human, he would have more resilience to it.

So far, he was doing disastrously.

Nameks were perfectly capable of intercourse, but it was commonly done out of necessity and never to satisfy desire or show affections. Ultimately, it was done as a sign of devotion.

When it came to Piccolo, he discovered that it was the entire spectrum of emotions.  _Devotion_ , because he respected him highly.  _Hate_ , because of Nail, and many of the other things he did, that was not in accordance with what Nameks were supposed to be (although he acknowledged the grudge as a puerile one). And finally,  _affection and desire_ , because he wanted Piccolo with almost the same fiery passion as Gohan did. It was for this reason that he "watched" them. He knew these were pointless feelings and hoped to wear it out of his system by saturating himself in what he wanted—without actually getting what he wanted.

Caught up in these flurried thoughts and feelings, he had—for some unmeasured amount of time—completely relinquished his godlike awareness and just allowed himself to be Dende. Not the _Kamisama_ -in-training Dende, but the Namek who was unfledged and at the moment, very confused. Due to this, he failed to notice Gohan and Piccolo's arrival sooner—barely managing to compose himself seconds before they touched down on the temple.

Piccolo cursorily nodded in his direction before heading inside.

"What's wrong, Dende-sama?” Gohan was peering down at him curiously. “You're blushing funny."

Dende felt horrified to be caught in such a state. He stuttered incoherently for some moments in an attempt to divert the observation.

Gohan blinked as he watched the young Namek dodge his gaze and mumble something about how it was just because he was almost caught daydreaming and slacking off on the job.

" _‘Daydreaming’_ …? Of what?"

"Ahh, well-! I wasn't daydreaming of  _anyone_  in particular!"

" _'Anyone'?_  You were thinking of  _someone_? Who?"

"Oh no! No! No one!"

Gohan stared at him intently, almost undoing the poor young Namek who was laughing nervously; ridiculous amounts of sweat stippling his brow.

"Dende, could it be…?”

“What…??”

“… _You're in love with someone!_ "

"Aaah! No! I- I'm not—"

"Don't tell me you're in love with—"

Dende paled in record time.

" _—me??_ _"_

Gohan waited patiently for the young guardian to pick himself up from where he had plunked.

"N-no, Gohan-san," Dende exhaled when he had collected himself. "I do like you very much as a friend, but rest assured, I'm not in love with you."

"No?"

Dende shook his head, a cross between an apologetic smile and a rictus on his face.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Quite sure."

"Well." Gohan's face broke into a broad grin as he sat himself on the ledge, head turned up towards the sky. "That's good to know! Because I'm in love with Piccolo-san…"

"Indeed." Dende inwardly sighed in relief.

"So, you were asking me something?"

The tension in the young Namek's gut twisted all over again. He had already thought of what he hoped was a convincing cover-up.

"Oh, that… uh. I just wanted to ask you…" Dende took a deep breath. "I remembered you told me before that you think Piccolo-sama and Nail-san don't look anything like each other."

*" _Zenzen._ "

"But you never got to tell me why…"

"Oh. I’m sorry. I thought that was obvious." Gohan chuckled. "Okay, hmm. Well… From what I've seen, most Nameks, including Nail-san, have eyes in only one colour."

"That is correct. Mage class Nameks usually have a lighter shade of brown, while warrior class Nameks like Nail-san have dark brown to black eyes."

Gohan nodded. "Piccolo-san’s eyes are chromatic and semi-translucent. Compared to Namek’s consistently stable climate and weather conditions, the Earth’s is ever-changing and even chaotic. I’ve read that Nameks tend to adjust to their environment and perhaps it's because Piccolo-san was born and raised on Earth that his eyes developed that way, and changes colour a lot! His irises are naturally iridescent blue which is why it can look inky black at times, sometimes even violet, especially towards the later part of the day. But I’ve come to know that his eye colour can also depend on his mood, like when he gets excited or simply alert, for instance, it becomes fiery red—like blazing coals. That’s his Ki doing that. You have to be careful when it's that colour, though. The first time I saw it, I got so mesmerised when it started to glow – and I ended up toasted point blank when beams of energy fired from it. I suffered severe facial burns for weeks!"

Dende sweatdropped, cringing slightly. "Yes, I believe that skill is one of Piccolo-sama's unique attributes."

Gohan gestured to his forehead, "The one from his antennae hurt far more! Those fry your synaptic responses. Extremely painful paralysis. Trust me."

The young Namek winced, nodding grimly.

"When it comes to facial features, Nail-san's were harder and rougher along the edges, more angular. While Piccolo-san's lineaments have a surprisingly elegant air about it compared to most Nameks or humans I've seen. His cheekbones are pronounced but unimposing; his jawline is well-defined but not hard; while his chin manages to look strong and prominent but still, graceful. I know for a fact that Nameks do not have bodily hair, but the day I carried his injured body from Namek when Freeza was about to obliterate it, I saw that he had wispy hairs lining the base of his eyelids, exactly like human eyelashes! only finer and hardly noticeable since it's only a shade darker than his skin. But it did wonders in framing and softening the intensity of his eyes… Did Nail-san have eyelashes?"

Dende shook his head promptly, eyes wide.

"Their voices too, are very different. Nail-san's was gruffer—and from what I've heard—he speaks Namekian in a commanding monotone. Piccolo-san's voice is a subtle nasal baritone; he hardly opens his mouth when he speaks. It’s why his words always sound like a resounding breathy hum—as though he got used to talking as softly as possible. I'm guessing it's because he’s a hybrid class Super Namek and his hearing is much sharper than singular class Nameks. The controlled volume he always speaks in must be the normal threshold of loudness he can comfortably tolerate. Also, Piccolo-san inherited the Namekian language from his father's memories. It's probably due to this fact that he speaks it in a somewhat archaic fashion, I imagine it was probably what Namekian royalty of yore sounded like—if Nameks had those." Gohan laughed, then put on a playful pout. "Shame that he doesn't allow himself to be coaxed into speaking it more often because I find it to be the most adorable thing! (Plus, I'm studying the language too, you see, and it would be such a great practice resource!)

“And speaking of language… Of course, like most Nameks, Nail-san spoke to us telepathically and didn't really learn Earthian language. But Piccolo-san did, and he speaks Earthian very well, but he does so with such a uniquely paced and almost careful cadence—very similar in manner to the way he speaks Namekian. I got used to hearing Piccolo-san speak Earthian so often that I've grown extremely fond of how it sounds off his lips. I really think he makes it sound so much nicer than it actually is."

By this time, Dende was gaping and every bit speechless.

Gohan took a moment to gain on his breath as he redirected his gaze to the sailing clouds above, a wistful dreamy look in his eyes.

"Piccolo-san's antennae are longer than Nail-san's. They walk, stand, and smell completely different too. Nail-san’s build was stockier and bulkier; whereas Piccolo-san’s is taller and leaner. Nail-san had good posture but he stooped slightly. I wouldn’t have spotted it if not for Piccolo-san’s ever-perfect posture; Piccolo-san’s shoulders are always kept level, even when he bends—astoundingly, even when he's throwing a punch! Furthermore, all Nameks smell a bit of nature, but it must be because Piccolo-san loves tulips so much that you can often smell it on him. (I didn't see any flowering plants on Namek…) It's crazy, but it actually makes him naturally smell much sweeter than most girls I've scented who are usually all perfume and cosmetics (which kind of really irritates my nose). Oh yeah, and Nail-san had a strong bony nose, while Piccolo-san's nose is straight and sharp; it’s the most elegant looking button nose I've ever seen. It's actually my favourite of all his features with his eyes a close second; it makes him look as smart as he is." The demi-Saiyajin cleared his throat and reflexively scratched his head, trying to overcome a wave of shyness. "You'd be surprised how innocent and gentle his eyes could be—even almost vulnerable— _especially when he smiles_."

Dende's eyebrows went up for a whole second before he broke into a fit of giggles, and the hybrid teenager's face reddened even more.

"Gohan-san! I think Piccolo-san only looks that way when he is smiling at _you_!"

Gohan drew up his legs and hugged his knees, hiding his burning face as he muttered something unintelligible, which sounded like denial that lacked conviction.

Dende chuckled some more.

"Wait a minute…" Gohan lifted his head, brow's knitted thoughtfully, a serious searching expression directed at the young apprentice. "You told me before that you liked Nail-san… and that you thought him and Piccolo-san were…"

Dende froze.

Gohan's voice dropped to an inaudible breath,  _"You're in love with Piccolo-san…!"_

Dende momentarily forgot how to speak. But then, with a horrified look, snuck a glance towards the direction Piccolo had disappeared to.

"Don't worry, he's in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber now, waiting for me. The door is shut."

"How do you know?"

"It's impossible to communicate with anyone in there from the outside. Even telepathically. Our mental link is automatically severed if one of us goes in there and shuts the door."

The young Namek deflated. "I- I wouldn't call it love, I only- I only err, admire him."

"Does Piccolo-san know how you feel about him?"

Dende felt a hundred times heavier than he actually was, and finally gave in and slumped into the ground, their bodies juxtaposed. "I- I don't know. P-perhaps? I never told him, but… sometimes he just knows things, you know? He just never says anything. He is the present _Kamisama_ after all… He must know it. I wouldn't be surprised if he did… But still… I wish he didn't. Because…  _it's just stupid._ " The last part was hardly audible, as though his voice got snatched away by a non-existent breeze.

Before he knew it, he was being hugged tightly. Only then did he realize that his eyes were wet. He squinted and grit his teeth in frustration, but the sobs that followed were unstoppable.

 

_Please don't tell Piccolo-sama._

 

 **End of the first half.** **  
**Continued in the second half...****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Rogalian Cataclysm** \- More on this in my future stories.
> 
>  ***rapid regeneration** – Allow me  & Musey a little rant. I hate how Toriyama just winged everything thoughtlessly as the story progressed! So many inconsistencies were created! For one: _Piccolo's ability to regenerate like Cell._ WTF. Did he hit his head and forget all the other times he put down Piccolo all too easily even when his head was still intact? Also, if this applies to all Nameks, how would that explain all those dead Nameks with their heads intact? If this was common knowledge in the galaxy, then their heads should have been crushed to keep them all from regenerating. His best defence for this is probably because Piccolo is classified as a warrior class. But then again, why didn't Nail regenerate? As far as was shown, his head was intact during his last moments, right? So here, I did him the favour of "tying up" this loose end. (I have every right to be pissed, I followed this bloody series ever since I was a tot, and to wake up one day realizing how dumb the plot is, was a real heartbreaker, okay? But alas! God bless fanfiction!)
> 
>  ***Piccolo-sama** – During the span of this arc, Gohan goes playfully on and off with the honorific because Piccolo is the interim Kamisama. And no, it’s not translatable so, don’t knock it.
> 
>  ***Zenzen** \- Something like, _“not by a long shot”_ , or _”not in a million years”._ Again, this is a nuance of Japanese culture that I wanted to keep since it is not translatable.
> 
> * * *
> 
> 2016/05/26 - 2016/09/18)


	2. Second Half

Gohan deeply cared for Dende as a friend. But he was genuinely at a loss as to what to do. He was aware that Piccolo had fused with Nail, the Namekian warrior that Dende wanted to bond with, and perhaps that was why he felt such an affinity for Piccolo. It did seem unfair that he had lost the one he loved in such a way, but what happened was clearly Nail's choice.

"It won't do him any good to be treated like a baby. Don't forget, he is supposed to be the new _Kamisama_."

Gohan flinched. He promised Dende he wouldn't tell Piccolo. Apparently, he didn't need to. Because somehow Piccolo already knew.

"Did you also know that he has been, err…"

"Spying on us?"

"He didn't mean to, I'm sure."

"Dende isn't a child anymore, Gohan. He is fully aware of his actions and should be mindful of its repercussions."

"I- I know, but you don't have to be so harsh, Piccolo-san. Dende is confused because of his feelings for you and Nail. He can't help it."

"That won't do. He _has_ to ‘help it’ if he is to become god. He can't be the guardian of Earth if he can't even be responsible for his own thoughts and actions." Piccolo did not bother to open his eyes nor move from his floating lotus posture just above the surface of the lake where Gohan was bathing in, but the sternness in his tone said it all. The topic was not open for debate.

For some minutes, Gohan stood motionless in waist-deep water, staring at the ripples, feeling sorry for Dende. He knew that Piccolo was right. But at the same time, he wished Piccolo would, at least, try to help the young Namek get over him. He knew how hard it was to be in love with someone… much more, someone you had no chance of being with.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Piccolo landed in the water in front of him– _now_ _fully naked._  Gohan's knees instantly turned to jelly. He tried not to notice how the water level was dangerously low down his tall lover's hips; how the flowing current teasingly crashed directly into that area in between his thighs… That part of Piccolo that he knew was only too soft and warm, and _sensitive_. Try as he might, he could not stop his body from reacting  _very attentively_  to that detail.

"Nail is gone. Dende should accept that. Whatever he thinks he is feeling for me is only misdirected emotion. It won't do him any good to indulge him."

Gohan could only nod dumbly up at him; his mind already tripping over itself in his lover's dazzling presence that he had, in fact, already forgotten a good deal of what they were discussing prior to his nakedness. He whimpered as Piccolo bent down and locked onto his lips. The demi-Saiyajin's mind was instantly wiped blank as he felt Piccolo's tongue enter his mouth. Gohan moaned loudly as he was pushed roughly to the edge of the lake until his back was against the rocky embankment, and in the next second, he understood why… _Piccolo's hands were coaxing him on._

"P-P-Piccolo… sannggh!" Gohan cried out through clenched teeth as the rare sensation of Piccolo fondling him arrested all of his senses.  _This was something new_ … Piccolo was hardly ever one to initiate  _this_ , but he wouldn't dream of complaining. No, he appreciated it very much, and so did his body because in less than a minute he was mind-numbingly fully aroused – throbbing and aching with desperate need. He nearly slid into the water when Piccolo took him into his mouth and sucked—tongue massaging his underside so avidly that he couldn't remember how to breathe; literally choking from too much pleasure. When he felt that stirring, coiling heat in his belly begin to give a lurch and Piccolo still did not relent, he managed to gain just enough sense to protest.

' _Oh no, Piccolo-san, I won't let you pull a fast one on me._ '

He pulled Piccolo off him and up to resume their kiss as his shaking hands reached down to return the favour. Piccolo growled into their connected mouths sending shivers all over Gohan's body, which only egged his hands to intensify their attack. By the time that soft velvety crevice was freed from his burly calloused fingers, it was squishy and dripping with heated want. Gohan broke their kiss to feast his eyes on the viscous fluid coating his three digits, and met Piccolo's hooded gaze as he seductively inserted the said digits into his mouth. Piccolo watched entranced, as his lover greedily lapped and swallowed his glistening essence until he had sucked his fingers clean. The hybrid Saiyajin bit his lip as those fingers were pulled from his lips and slid into Piccolo's hot mouth with deliberate slowness; moaning as he felt that sinful tongue greet and surrounded it. Gohan grunted breathlessly, as Piccolo rolled his hips in time with the tantalizing movements of his tongue on his fingers and pressed his throbbing wetness against his straining need—and _dear Kamisama_ … _!_ He didn't know why Piccolo was suddenly acting like a submissive whore ( _one very cute and adorable submissive whore_ ) but it was seriously driving him mad.

The demi-Saiyajin grabbed his naughty lover and pulled him forward, impaling himself inside the Namek’s heavenly tightness nearly halfway in one fluid motion. They both cried out at the sudden headrush of unforgiving pain and pleasure. Piccolo's body remained taut and arched back perilously as Gohan reinforced his hold on his hips to bruising. Bracing himself, he gingerly pulled out all the way before plunging back in to the hilt without prequel; and Piccolo all but howled as intense pain wracked his body. But it was quickly supplanted with devastating pleasure when Gohan shifted their positions to have Piccolo sandwiched beneath him and against the rocks; his legs pushed up and far apart, leaving his massive form and full weight to ride and become even more deeply impaled on the half-breed's lengthy and impossibly thick girth.

Piccolo's breath left him in short, erratic gasps as Gohan began pumping into him right away, steadily escalating in rhythm and angling his thrusts to slam into that hypersensitive bundle of nerves that caused Piccolo’s body to quake and convulse. He clawed at the rock and earth beneath in a attempt to keep himself upright; long having lost his sense of balance as he is helplessly and violently bounced along with each powerful collision of their bodies. His lover was pounding into him with so much force that nothing but repeated flashes of white and pulsing stars filled his vision. A burst of Ki stole his breath amidst incoherent sobbing; and sure enough, Gohan's size and the power of his thrusts increased considerably - once again having ascended two levels of Super Saiyajin. The blinding friction created by the youth’s relentless stabbing into him which bordered inhuman speed and force became so intense that it felt like Gohan was setting him ablaze from the inside.

Rough sex was not something they indulged in often, but it still happened often enough. And it was something Piccolo enjoyed more than their gentler sessions even if he was the one who almost certainly always came out of it sore to the spine with numerous cuts and bruises just like the very first time he lost his virginity to the boy. The only other times Gohan fucked him this way, was when he was intoxicated or under the influence of an outside force; but without those, his mate always took pains to stay relatively in-check (not that Piccolo influenced him to do so).

It has been a while since he was reminded of this side of the boy. Though he was mostly disorientated in most of all the previous instances where Gohan “cut loose”, feeling the boy’s raw passion while fully lucid was always a thrilling tightrope experience—that some part of him in the deepest recesses of his mind actually liked _very much_. Gohan just losing control when it came to sex was a rare treat that he always secretly looked forward to. And as he felt his vision blaze to ruby-red he knew that he himself was on the path to losing his grip on all rationale. He threw his head back and his body involuntarily arched off the rock in a daring angle as he felt his peak approaching fast; allowed his lips to fall open, freeing a scream of ecstasy that had been trapped in his chest – and _Piccolo’s mind and soul soared at the emancipation!_ It was so much easier to give into it if he knew he wasn’t the only one…

Gohan plunged into his body one final time—as hard and as deep as he could go; grinding with unmerciful pressure into Piccolo’s sensitive spot and stopping all movement in time to ride the orgasm as it gripped them both. It flooded and electrified every muscle and vein in their body; racking and shorting all of their senses; and blinding them both for what seemed like endless minutes of torturous pleasure. Gohan breathed out his lover's name in a strangled groan as Piccolo's divine muscled heat reflexively clamped his throbbing length in a vicelike grip, unmercifully squeezing him of every last drop of his release. Their climax was so powerful and consummate that they were helpless to fend off the tendrils of oblivion that crept into their minds and bodies soon after the natural high slowly ebbed and every ounce of their energy had been spent.

The last thing they knew before the world went black was the distant sound of their breathless murmurs of each other's names…

 

**-x-**

 

Dende stood stock-still, shaking pitifully at the very brink of _Kami no Shinden_ ; his breathing ragged and uneven, vision spinning. When he finally allowed himself to slump to his knees, the tears fell freely.

He had felt  _everything_ —not as completely as the actual experience, of course—but his mind had filled in all the gaps impeccably. And as always, he was never happy when it was over. All he was always left with was the guilt, shame, confusion, _and stinging jealousy._ He choked back a sob but he knew that it was no use… His heart was shattered all over again.

Now that he confirmed it, the humiliation he felt was multiplied tenfold. Everything Piccolo had said – it was all true.  _He was right._  He shouldn't be allowing himself to be consumed by these emotions. He shouldn't allow himself to want Piccolo anymore—especially since Piccolo already loved and mutually bonded with another soul.  _Sweet, wonderful, and angelic Gohan-san._ They were perfect for each other! And knowing this just made his predicament all the more agonizing to swallow.

When he had agreed to come back to Earth, he was prepared to live with Piccolo's indifference towards him forever. He had already lost Nail, _it couldn't be harder than that, right?_ He was even willing to take on the eminent responsibility of becoming Earth guardian if it meant that he could simply  _be near_  Piccolo. That was all he really expected. It was so much easier to accept when Piccolo was indifferent not only to him but to the rest of the world as well. Or so, that's what he thought.

What he wasn't prepared for— _what he did not see coming at all_ —was the unimaginable heartbreak brought about by the discovery that Piccolo was  _not_  the indifferent, heartless individual that he all but forced himself to believe. That Piccolo was indeed someone capable of loving; and that his passions even far exceeded anything he had ever known about devotion all his life.

Piccolo became as strong and as noble as he was now, because of his love— _his devotion_ to Gohan. And in a sense, his sacrifice was even greater and more admirable, because he wasn't doing it out of obligation to his race or to live up to a set of standards… He was doing it, simply because  _he chose to._  

Because it was what he wanted.

To make things simpler than they actually were, he chose to believe that Piccolo was something he wasn't—fooled himself into ignoring all the subtexts in the man’s actions that conveyed his great potential for love. It was easier that way because he had always known that he was never going to be on the receiving end of the said Namek's affections; love or otherwise. But the thing that he had been resisting all along was not the culprit behind his misery. It wasn't because he was in love with Piccolo that he was suffering…

Maybe…  _just maybe_ …  _his biggest mistake_ … was actually allowing himself-  _to_   _hope_.

Piccolo's both direct and indirect rejection was what he needed to finally wake him up from the  foolishness. How ironic that in the end, it was  _he_  who had much to learn from Piccolo about devotion after all. Gohan was right when he said that Piccolo believed in him as _Kamisama_. Piccolo had known all along about how he felt, and yet he never faltered in supporting him unconditionally; training him tirelessly, patiently understanding and giving him countless chances to come to on his own and iron things out. And for that, he was immensely grateful.

His selfish desires had blinded him to the fact that Piccolo had been giving him so much all this time. It was a lesson painfully learned, but finally learned nevertheless! _Nail, Great Elder, Piccolo, Mister Popo_ … and _even Gohan._ They all trusted him, and he wasn't going to disappoint them anymore!

Dende blinked away the dregs of tears trapped in his eyes, grateful that Mister Popo was not a snoop and had not embarrassed him further by prying (instead, remained busy tending to the garden on the other side of the temple). The sobs had stopped now, and he felt better enough to muster a woeful smile up at the tranquil skies; feeling appreciative of the calm and breath-taking view… As though it was there before his eyes to cheer him up somehow… And in a silly, magical way, _it actually did_.

So as he picked himself up and gripped _Kamisama_ 's staff, he stood tall and proud, renewed resolve burning in him; and at long last, his heart could begin to heal and be lightened of its burden. He made a vow to train hard to become _Kamisama_. He was going to prove to Piccolo that he was worthy. He came here out of his own choosing—a choice to become devoted to this post. But now his understanding of that choice was complete.

 _He chose_ , even if he didn't know it then,  _to devote himself to Piccolo._

Because the truth is, whether he wanted to admit it or not… Piccolo is what's left of the one Namek he really wanted to devote his life to. And so, that's exactly what he was going to do. _He was going to devote himself to Piccolo regardless who Piccolo loved_ , or if Piccolo hardly spared him a glance or a word. He would be devoted, no matter how tough it got. Because that's what love and devotion was all about.

He finally realized it. _He had come to love Piccolo since, he just didn't know it._   _Because deep inside he knew that Nail didn't really vanish. Nail is Piccolo now, whether he wanted to admit it or not._ And now…

It was Piccolo that he loved.

And he needed to become _Kamisama_ … 

_So that Piccolo could be free to devote himself to the one he loved._

 

**-x-**

 

When Gohan awoke, he found Piccolo watching him sleep. Or rather—knowing Piccolo—waiting for him to stir, since he had fallen asleep on his Namekian lover's chest and the owner of the said chest couldn't move. When he had gathered a good deal of his wits, he lifted his head and stared at his sated lover's face, eyes narrowing accusatorily.

Piccolo met the gaze wordlessly, with blazing red eyes that were oozing with suspiciously feigned innocence.

Gohan tried to move up to stare more deliberately at Piccolo, only to end up emitting a rather unmanly squeak upon the realization that he was still buried deeply in his lover. The guilty Namek then unhanded his Saiyajin lover's backside which he had been fiercely gripping in place, and they both groaned at the sensation of Gohan very gently withdrawing.

"Y-you… did that on purpose!" Gohan poked Piccolo in the chest when the Namek submerged himself neck deep in the lake to sooth his sore body and privates; Gohan following suit.

 _'I don’t know what you are raving about,'_  Piccolo's nonchalant thoughts cut through the boy's consciousness.

"You are trying to rile Dende, aren't you?" Gohan grumbled mopily. "That’s the real reason you acted… Err, well… Different!”

“Different.”

“Yes! _Different!_ You hate it when I come inside you without warning—you always give me an earful about it afterwards whenever I do! But it’s totally not like that today! And you usually never go down on me (no matter how much I beg for it sometimes)! But suddenly now… You…!”

 _'What, am I not permitted to change my mind?'_  Piccolo retorted almost as childishly; still telepathically.  _"It's **my**  body."_

"That's not what I meant!" Gohan snapped, the bright blush on his face diminishing all attempts at sounding authoritative. "Of course, you can! And who says I was complaining? But you're not doing it for me, are you?"

_'I don't know what you mean. Who else would I do it for?'_

Gohan searched his companion's eyes which were now returning to a more normal dark-violet shade, and he sighed.

"You really don't, don't you?"

Piccolo shrugged. "I just felt like it. So I wanted to try something different…  _Nail had nothing to do with it,_ " he added almost imperceptibly.

Gohan's eyebrows went up slowly.

As opposed to him, his green-skinned lover was normally crafty with his lies; it was part of his repertoire as a natural actor to be a good liar. The only thing is,  _Piccolo never lied to Gohan._ Which perhaps was the reason his first attempt at it was disastrous.This was clearly a case of guilt talking, and the hybrid teenager was already readying himself for a confession of sorts…

"Nail."

"Nail."

"Are you saying it was Nail-san who groped my butt while I was out, and not my lover, Piccolo-san?"

Piccolo actually seemed to consider the answer to the unexpected question for some seconds.

"Uhm," he spoke up, some bubbles going up from where he had sunk in the water up to his lips. "Yes," Piccolo said almost inaudibly, as he sunk lower.

Gohan's jaw fell open, then he sputtered aghast, "I guess I should feel relieved it wasn't Kami-sama… Or are you going to tell me he plays an active part in our sex life too?!"

Piccolo's eyes slightly bulged at that, more bubbles breaking the surface, even if no words came with it.

Gohan blanched on dangerous levels.

For some seconds they stared at each other mutely, then when Gohan looked like he was seriously going to pass out, Piccolo reemerged just enough for his mouth to speak clearly, eyes narrowed to slits as he deadpanned, "You will believe anything I tell you, no matter how absurd, won't you?"

Gohan went from aghast to  _aghast and confused._

"Don't be a two-bit nincompoop, Gohan. Of course, that was all me. What do you take me for?"

"OH, HAR-HAR! MY PICCOLO-SAN, THE CUT-UP!" Gohan burst out simultaneously relieved and infuriated.

Piccolo cringed, hands instinctively lifting up to cover his ears. _Crud, the boy could be really loud when he wanted to._  Although, it was amazing how that particular detail about his lover never seemed to affect him this much when they were consummating their love, much too distracted by the manifold pleasures to feel his sensitive eardrums tearing.

"Oh, crumbs! * _Gomen,_  Piccolo-san!" Gohan hugged Piccolo, peppering his ears with tender kisses (which led to more kissing everywhere else for some more endless minutes in which some hearty groping was inevitably incorporated into).

"I believe… I owe you an explanation," Piccolo susurrated in between their lip smacks. Gohan blithely tongued his lover for a few more seconds before his brain was able to process the words. “Oh." This warranted Gohan's full attention, and he disengaged from Piccolo's lips to gaze at him thoughtfully (hearts still in his eyes).

"I have no interest in becoming _Kamisama_ ," Piccolo began when their pulses have calmed some. "So for the sake of bringing out the best in Dende's training, I decided to delegate that job to Kami and Nail, since they would know best how to approach and handle the situation. I train warriors;  _I don't train gods._  For the duration of Dende's training, I let them surface. Other than that, they can't enter my thoughts, force their wills upon me or influence my actions in any way, unless I open up a channel for them to do so. By default, their minds are active in my superconscious, but at best, I get faint signals from them, which I can very easily opt to ignore, unless presented with utmost exigency, of course. For Dende, I open that part of me where they reside, just enough to let them take over for the day's battle plan, letting them—to a certain degree, as you humans would say—autopilot my body without robbing me of cognizance or control. Of course, it is inevitable that our wills resonate every so often, and when that happens, the line separating their thoughts and knowledge from mine is erased."

"Does that mean that all three of you wanted to grope my butt and come inside you?"

Piccolo blushed. "That was purely me, alright? Get over it. It's not like I'm consciously trying to distinguish their thoughts from mine every bloody minute!" Dipping beneath the surface once more, he glugged, "But I guess they didn't have any objections to it since I didn't feel any disassociation."

Gohan's hand flew up to his mouth melodramatically.

"Nameks aren't as holy as you might think, you know. True, we don't normally need sex or orgasm, but that doesn't mean we don't feel anything. Nail is… especially enthusiastic about our sexual activities. He is, more 'knowledgeable'… and perhaps—just a little—his persistent enthusiasm got the best of me when I let you…" the rest of his words were drowned in a flurry of bubbles.

" _'Perhaps'_?" Gohan thoughts were italicized and double underlined.

"But we have different reasons!"

"Okay. While I do like the idea of you ‘open’ to advice from Nail or whomever about being more daring when we have sex, I would appreciate it if I knew who I was really having sex with – you or him? So keep talking, love. I'm listening."

"It’s me. I told you! You have to understand that fusion truly makes us one entity. But it is more like two souls sharing one body. He no longer exists separately from me for him to exercise his own will without my permission. Most times, I am his voice, and he will appeal to be heard if there is something I am unaware of but need to know. In such cases, I subconsciously reach out to his repository of knowledge and wisdom. But overall, our goal is the same: to preserve this body and that which it considers vital to its existence, which is… well,  _you_."

Gohan flushed madly at that, as did Piccolo; who averted his eyes for some moments as he dipped back into the water in a feeble attempt to hide the growing purple heat on his cheeks.

When the awkward moment had passed somewhat, Piccolo swallowed and resumed. "Nail does not influence me more than I influence him. He cannot help identifying with my thoughts and feelings now that he is in me. If I truly wanted to I could consume his soul entirely and he would truly cease to exist as a separate soul… but I encourage him to remain him because I don't want him to disappear."

"Piccolo-san…" Gohan murmured, stunned. The boy stared at his childhood friend for a long time, newfound admiration filling his chest. He had always known it. Piccolo had a heart of gold. However evil his father and counterpart Daimaoh Sr. had been, this creature he had fallen in love and bonded with, was indubitably an entirely separate and pure soul.

"It's hard as hell at times, though, but I think I can manage." Gohan still looked too love-struck to speak so he continued, "So… Nail has no desire to grope you himself,  _he just_   _wants **me**  to grope  **you**_ because I want to…" Piccolo was plodding on, in such an uncharacteristic flustered state that Gohan couldn't help but be enthralled by it. "Not that he doesn't think you are desirable, but that is beside the point. My point is, you do see that there is a big difference, don't you?"

"Kamisama, Piccolo-san…" Gohan breathed, latching on to the Namek’s neck and proceeding to lick the strong, graceful expanse of it. "You are too cute to bear at times, do you know that?"

Piccolo's already disjointed thoughts are completely upturned by the random non-sequitur.

Gohan was perfectly content exploiting his lover's stupefaction for some minutes, kissing and petting and sucking. When he finally faced the Namek's dazed face to marvel at how handsome it was, Piccolo narrowed his already half-lidded eyes at him.

"Were you even listening?"

"Uh-huh…" drawled the boy, already locking on to Piccolo's lips. "I forgive you for not telling me beforehand."

"I wasn't exactly asking for forgiveness," Piccolo mussitated grouchily as his lips were manhandled by eager demi-Saiyajin ones.

"You can make it up to me by letting me come in you again…  _and again…_   _and again_ … until you can't take any more… and get pregnant."

Piccolo's ears figuratively bellowed smoke from how pruriently he was being teased, tactilely and verbally. But in the middle of the very enthused tonguing his chest was receiving Gohan paused for a few pensive moments before looking up at the still furiously blushing Piccolo who met his stare wide-eyed and clueless.

"Just one last thing…" The hybrid let his hands languidly caress Piccolo's nape as he leaned onto his lover's bulging biceps. "Nail-san wouldn't be able to convince you to… saaaay… do these things with Dende for the sake of his training, won't he?"

Piccolo made a face; part-horrified, part-affronted. "Okay, we may not be holy, but we're not as depraved as you humans can be either. We don't— _can't_ —have sex with multiple partners or we risk a fate worse than death. *I believe I already informed you of that detail. Besides, that's not what he wants either. What he and Kami wants, is to test Dende's conviction and will as Earth god."

"Using us?"

"To some degree."

"Okay. Fair enough. Just wanted to be sure."

 

**-x-**

 

Human needs and emotions were strange and even silly to him at first, yes. But that was three years ago. Before he had come to Earth to train and learn about Earthlings, even go as far as to experience it all first-hand. (Well, maybe “second-hand” would be more precise.) He understood now, that it was all a crucible for him to undergo the necessary paradigm shift of his own volition. How could he watch over humans if he did not understand them? How can he be the guardian of Earth if he did not empathize with them and love them? He decided to be devoted to Earth's inhabitants then, out of selfishness. But now, he was beginning to see how mistaken he had been in thinking they were weak.

Thanks to Piccolo, Gohan, Nail, and Kami (and even Mister Popo), he knew better now. He felt more at peace with his purpose, and he welcomed each new day with enthusiasm.

He was sure of it now.

He going to be a great Earth guardian.

 

* * *

 

**Epilogue:**

 

_You were challenging me all along, weren't you, Nail-san? You thought I would run away, huh?_

_Well, guess what._

_I didn't._

_I hope I made you proud._

 

* * *

 

Dende sighed contentedly as he watched the sun crawl up the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful hues of deep purple, orange, and red as a new day on Earth was born, four years into his training as _Kamisama_.

Piccolo smirked as the young Namek turned to face him for their morning session, his aura unmistakably transforming into a more powerful and wiser leader.

"I knew I made the right choice when I chose you." To which the young Namek beamed. “Do your best, Dende.”

"Arigatou! Nail-san!"

_To hold such emotions and be capable of love…_

It was, by no means, an easy accomplishment. And though it took him several more months of wilful toil, he finally overcame the selfish feelings that had gripped him with an almost insuperable hold.

Besides, when Piccolo had told him that he was consulting both Kami and Nail for his training, he had been overjoyed. He didn't get to actively speak to them, but just knowing that Nail was still alive somehow… It was more than he could ever hope for.

"And by the way, it isn't Nail here, but Kami. He is the trainer of gods."

"Oh." Dende's smile faltered for a split-second but he fought to keep it. "Then, it is an honour, Kami-sama."

"Though he has left already," Piccolo informed him. Dende sweat-dropped, his smile turning into a sheepish one. "Because, as of today, you have formally completed fifty percent of your training as _Kamisama_."

"I- I have?!" Dende brightened.

Piccolo nodded curtly. "Yes. You have passed the hardest part. Realizing that being _Kamisama_ is not about being a perfect flawless being, but actually knowing that everyone is imperfect and flawed and yet,  _true greatness_  is being able to make the right choices despite that; to constantly strive for something more, and rise above your mistakes each time. Knowing that the rate of your progress doesn't matter as much as having the proper motivations in place."

" _The 'proper motivations'…_ ” Dende repeated slowly, eyes shimmering with attentiveness. "How do I know which motivations are proper?" He thought to be sure to ask, although, he already had an idea.

"All of those guided by that which is perfectly self-full and self-less. Or as Earthlings would call it: _love._ "

Dende smiled, he admired Piccolo on a much higher level now. And he knew and understood better, that everything that made Piccolo great now was him being able to overcome all the improper motivations he had inherited from his sire. That he wouldn't have been as strong and as wise if he hadn't known what it was like to be without.

" _Arigatou gozaimasu,_ Piccolo-sama!"

Piccolo gave him a proud smile. "You have now gained the strength and wisdom required to hold his knowledge. Now, we can start training your body along with your mind."

" _Train… my body?_ " Dende repeated slowly, elation flooding him, unsure he heard it right. "Y-you mean, you will teach me to become a warrior too?!" He was truly hopeful. He never expected that as _Kamisama_ of Earth, he was going to be initiated into the warrior class too. This was probably the best, unexpected news of his life as _Kamisama_ -in-training, by far…

"Of course. Before Kami became a shrivelled old coot, he was an excellent warrior. Or so he says," Piccolo replied, unable to suppress a snigger.

Dende couldn't help the smile spreading all over his being. He was going to be a warrior too, after all! And if Piccolo was the one who was going to be training him, he had no doubt in his mind that he would become a very powerful warrior too! He looked up at Piccolo, eyes twinkling, "I will do my very best! I look forward to our training!"

"Oh no. It's not me who will be training you."

Dende's posture drooped. "Oh. I see… I thought…"

"It was supposed to be me, but I found someone more qualified. At least, for the early stages of your physical training."

Dende looked up, knowing that Piccolo meant that he would allow Nail to come to his consciousness—to train him using Piccolo's body. And somehow, he couldn't put a name on the torrent of conflicting emotions this stirred in him. He steeled his nerves as he looked up at Piccolo's face, gathering all his powers of will to not set the tears behind his eyes free. But then, suddenly, an energy signature that felt oddly familiar distracted him from his wave of emotions. Someone else was there with them apart from Mister Popo and their guest Zangya.

Dende's staff slipped from his hands to the floor with a resounding clunk and he suddenly felt as though time had come to a complete standstill. From the shadows behind Piccolo, a figure stepped into view. The figure stopped right in front of him, but Dende was frozen in place, his chest tightening with so much emotion. Tears filled his eyes and he didn't hold back anymore (not that he could anyway), he threw himself at the newcomer, who really wasn't a newcomer at all.

His arms barely made it around his old friend's broad torso, but he hugged and held on as fiercely as he could. He felt a gentle pat on his head as he sobbed incoherently; only managing to get his feelings across telepathically...

_'I can't believe it. It really is you...!_

_'I've missed you so much!_

 

_" **Nail-san.** "_

 

**-x-**

 

_Piccolo-sama, can god fall in love?_

 

_Yes._

 

_Then, if god can fall in love…_

 

_So can Nameks._

 

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Gomen** – Japanese informal for “sorry”. 
> 
> ***I believe I already informed you…** \- From the concluding chapter of **“Truer Than Love”**.
> 
> * * *
> 
> **o** This story is teeming with canon overhauls, and if you know the series well, you would know which those are. I won’t insult your intelligence by pointing them all out (besides, that would be tiring. 3_3)
> 
>  **o** I'm not a PiccoloxDende shipper, but I find one-sided DendexPiccolo very believable.
> 
>  **o** This takes place after **“Truer Than Love”** and both precedes and follows **“Upside-Down Inside-Out”** (which is an entire arc I have yet to publish). The explanation for Nail’s return happens there. Sorry, Musey wanted this done first.
> 
> * * *
> 
> (06/06/2016 - 11/20/2016)
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Revision Notes:**
> 
> As of today (2018/03/16), this story went through it's second--I should say, "major" revision. I did not change the general story much, but I changed the flow and context of a couple of crucial conversations, which I honestly don't remember why I wrote that way in the first place. I think the only explanation is that when I drafted the original version of this, I never intended for it to be a part of my Retroverse series. Now that it is, I had to fix the inconsistencies. Sorry about that!

**Author's Note:**

>  **Dragon Ball/Z/GT/Xenoverse/Super** /etc. belong to their respective owners. I own nothing except this derivative fanwork which I do not profit from.
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Dreamwidth](https://mariekowest.dreamwidth.org) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mariekowest)


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